January 1, 2017: A New Year with new resolutions. You know how it goes…
So I am being realistic and I pledge to do the one thing I’ve been wanting to do for a very long time.
Write or should I say converse because I am not too much into that whole journaling thing… I like to have conversations, I need human interactions, I need the reactions, it feeds me and helps me think and grow and move forward.
So I figure a blog could be my way to get my thoughts out there, to stay in touch, giving me the illusion of an early breakfast or an afternoon coffee with a friend or an uncomfortable conversation at the family table and I had my share of those….not all uncomfortable, not at all. As a matter of fact, most of them were pleasant and familiar, nurturing and comforting and I miss them…a lot…all of them. Even the ones that seemed painful at the times, the ones standing on that fundamental family belief, that only someone who loves you and cares about you can tell you that you have bad breath. My dad made sure we didn’t forget and he cared and loved.. a lot …so he made sure to tell us when we had bad breath.
I crave those conversations, I need them, to grow, to feel alive. I try to live by that mantra with my friends, those close to me and frankly everybody I encounter, and that includes my coworkers, and boy, did that got me into trouble. As you can imagine, my version of telling people that they have bad breath was not always well received or understood, especially in the US, where the mantra is almost at the other end of the spectrum: “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything”! What a conundrum for me! Not that I don’t have anything nice to say at all but let’s be real, can you really have an honest and true relationship with somebody and only say nice things???? Hello!!!!
So I am counting on you to keep it real, to keep this blog alive, to keep me alive with your feedback, reactions, comments…
Funny… creating this blog, I stumbled upon an old one I’ve created 11 years ago when that itch to write was, maybe, harder to ignore.
Looking at it today, I see how I’ve grown, it was just a few posts, supposedly about me but really, it was not…it was more about that woman who gave up all of her dreams and followed her husband around, willingly – don’t get me wrong – focused on him and her kids and their needs.
11 years later..I am starting over and this time, it’s about me.
It’s about me, the woman, not the mother and I am trying to separate those two entities (but can I?) in this brave and healthy endeavor to try and find myself.